明明自己心里有很多话要说，却不知道怎样表达。有时候很低落，觉得自己其实一无所有，仿佛被世界抛弃。明明自己身边有很多朋友，却依然觉得孤单。有时候很想放纵自己，希望自己彻彻底底醉一次，醒来后就能把什么都忘记。明明有着自己的梦想，却是力不从心。有时候握得越紧，失去得也越快。为什么。。。


Seven minutes to 5am. And I'm still up. Didn't even nap yesterday. Studying. Procrastinating. Thinking. Missing. Wondering. This is insane. BRAIN, Y U NO SHUT DOWN?!


Ok update. It's 6 minutes to 6am. Dafuq?! OK GNIGHT.

Happy leap day!

Just feel like posting an entry, 'cause day like this only happen once every four years. Just like Olympic, or FiFa world cup. So, it is special.

Nothing special happened today. Just a little bit of studying at School's student lounge, probably one of the best place to study that's free. I think.....I'm almost done with CT, abbreviation for cells and tissues. Which is quite easy, just memorizing skillz needed. Blergh, which I hate. Gotta start with IBM and CBI soon! Especially CBI, abbreviation of cell biology. 'cause......I never really pay much attention during class. Regretting it now, but yeah. It's okayz. Lulzzz

So yeah! Happy leap year everyone! Hopefully your twenty-ninth February was more happening/interesting than mine. 'cause mine was really...plain boring. :/

步步惊心

Hello hello! Okay, so finally the post for  步步惊心 is here! Took me a while, 'cause I've been lazy, and been hooked up with too many movies, and of course studies. Just had my CT's spot test on Thursday. I spent so much time on skin, but non of my slides was relevant to skin ;( so sad can. Anyway, I'll continue and end this post with 步步惊心  =D


The drama started with Zhang Xiao ( Which is also RouXi) quarreling with the bf cox her bf had some affair with the foster sister or something, couldn't remember. She was involved in a car accident, and got electrocuted. While in the Qing dynasty, RX was pushed down the stairs and probably died? ZX was in coma. So ZX's soul travelled back time and since then onwards, she's RX. Her sister was Rou Lan, 8th prince (Kevin Cheng's wife).

Diagram below is mostly the main cast for 步步惊心! As you can see, RX is linked to most of the prince except for the 1st, 2nd and 3rd prince. Probably 'cause those are the unimportant roles, and maybe they're too old for RX.

To be honest, I am really really lazy to sum up everything, 'cause I'm just that lazy. Lol! Just go google, type in 步步惊心 or Scarlet Heart, and they'll be a list of links for you to read about the whole story =D that's what I did while watching 步步惊心 and I cried while reading too! The love relationship inside is just too sad. No matter who is it with. RX/4th prince, RX/8th prince, RX/14th prince. Actually RX/14th prince is the least favorite love relationship of mine in the drama. Though at the end RX got married to 14th prince, but that isn't what she want. The only reason why she agreed to be 14th prince's wife is because she want to get out of the palace, as 4th prince(YongZheng emperor) is getting scarier by then. And the only solution is to marry 14th prince. Super sad I tell you. I cried too! It's the 33rd episode I think?

There! A couple pic of RX and 14th prince! I think its still the best for them to remain as best friends? I didn't like 14th prince at first. 'cause he's so fucking judgmental and arrogant. But at the end, he fell in love with RX and he's not that bad after all. I hate him when he made 4th prince jealous about his relationship with RX though. He's the reason why 4th prince didn't want to see RX before she die. Real sad... Episode 34 if I'm not mistaken. Oh btw! One of the four biggest mysteries during Qing dynasty happened in this drama! Which is KangXi Emeperor's throne. There's rumours saying that 14th prince was supposed to be the emperor, not 4th prince. Just google up Qing dynasty or KangXi emeperor then you'll get what I mean! Really interesting :}

I can't find the couple pic of 8th prince and RX. I remember saving it though. But it's gone. So...nehmind. Anyway! 8th prince's role is played by Kevin Cheng as you can see. He's a major hottie I love since young! I remember watching his HK dramas all the time and drooling over him! Okay, so 8th prince is actually RX's brother in law. But he fell in love with RX probably is because RouLan (RX's sister) hates him, so he pays more attention to RX as RL and RX has some resemblance, plus RX was the people see, people love(direct chinese translation) kind of girl. At first RX didn't accept 8th prince's love as she thinks that she shouldn't do that 'cause 8th prince is her brother in law and she's afraid that RL mind about their relationship or so. RX accepted 8th prince's love during one of the episode(which i forgot which-th) but they broke up not long after that(second pic above). RX gave 8th prince two choice, it's either he choose her, or the throne. Too bad 8th prince was so eager in becoming the king, so he gave up on RX. Well, I cried here too when they broke up wtf. 

Rou Lan and 8th prince's relationship is probably the coldest relationship among all. 'cause RL doesn't love 8th prince at all. It's like one sided love lah. 8th prince treats her nicely and all but she just can't accept his love 'cause she love her jiang jun that's already in heaven. /cries. 

Ming Hui and 8th prince. just go watch the movie yourself and you'll know what kind of love relation they have lah!! I really lazy naoz....... =/

4th prince and RX! As RX knew 4th prince would be the emperor after KangXi Emperor, she treats him better than the others. That's why everyone thought RX liked him, and 4th prince act smart and kissed her during 8th episode I think? Then RX was touched by his words and actions so she slowly accepts his love towards her. Happiest moment ever! :} one of my favorite scene was during episode 20! Click here and read! Please just go read k. 'cause I'm starting to get lazy to type out the scene.

It's so manly for 4th prince to cover RX with his cape can! It was raining cats and dogs, and RX was punished to kneel in the Imperial Garden until the emperor forgives her. I especially like it when 8th prince and 14th prince saw both of them hugging! Its like the fuckyeah.jpg moment! :)

Pic above is when 4th prince becomes YongZheng Emperor. He told RX that the only thing that he's afraid of is losing her. Dramatically touching! Then RX told him that she doesn't belong in that era, she belongs in the future. 4th prince comes to his sense during 35th episode when RX died and realized RX's modern characteristic and how she equally treats everybody at the same level.

13th prince. Can't find any pic of RX and 13th prince. RX was given the nickname 13th sister before entering the palace as both of them has very similar personalities. Both of them stand up for their loved ones, for justice and both are freedom loving. Both of them have a lot in common, that's why they became best friends, drinking buddy. He's like a brother to RX and helped RX whenever she's in need of help.

That's Lu Wu, 13th prince's lover. But Lu Wu was a prostitute so their relationship wasn't recognize by the emperor. They gave birth to a daughter named Cheng Huan, a foster daughter to 4th prince and RX. Lu Wu committed suicide during 30th+ episode thanks to one of 13th prince's wife. pffts. super mean. zzz

 Due to 13th prince's charisma, he has a lot of admirer. Pic above is Ming Ming, Mongolian King's daughter. She used to adore 13th prince a lot and even wanted to be 13th prince's wife. She's one of RX's best friend. Oh, reason why I mention bout her in my post is because....i wanna emphasize on her age. Wtf, can you believe it or not. She's 19 years old. Wtf wtf wtf........ I'm 19, but I'm still here..in singapore....studying my ass off. While she already have such fate to be famous and get to meet Nicky Wu and Kevin Cheng. Yes, I'm jealous. >/

10th prince is probably the funniest among all the prince in there. Used to like RX and hated him wife(Ming Yu), but at the end he realized that Ming Yu is the one he really love, and it's only a minor crush on RX. I like it when 10th prince and Ming Yu quarrel though. Super cute couple! =D

9th prince is the least favorite character of mine. I hate him =______= and he fucking used Yu Tang(Girl in the second picture, RX's best friend/foster sister) to be a spy and is probably one of the reason to Yu Tang's death. Fucking hate him. And he is also the reason why RX blame herself for what happened, the reason of RX's miscarriage(4th prince's baby), death of Ming Hui and all! He's the starting point of all the sad scenes. He can just gtfo. =___=

4th prince and 8th prince! Probably one of the few reasons why I wanna watch this drama badly! Which one do I prefer? I don't know! Can I haz both?! 'cause I really can't decide which prince I like! =/ both have their good and bad sides...and both are equally hot. Oh my.

Anyway, I would really like to meet the casts for BBJX!

So....I think that's all? Sorry for the messy post. was really lazy and i really cannot tahan seeing drafts in my post section (though there's more than 10 but i don't care). just go watch the drama okayz. it's really a good watch. oh and all the actors inside had to go bald! so y'all must watch okayz. they sacrifice their hair for this drama. lolol

Oh, if you're bored and want to watch more drama, watch another drama called gong suo xin yu. It's something similar and it's not bad too. I only watched few episodes on starhub tv, and i was in time for the ending. Lol! the ending for gong suo xin yu is way better than BBJX 'cause when Ching Chuang(main actress) goes back to 21st century, she get to meet with 4th prince, and he recognize her! Happy ending, unlike BBJX's. Okay......I gotta go rivise my IBM now. Sorry for the disappointment if you were expecting something better T___T goodbye!

One day

Hello hello! Okay I know, I've been saying that I would dedicate a post about 步步惊心, and its been a week but still dont have! Scam!! Right? Lol! Anyway, the post is coming, in the process. Still collecting photos from google and all over the internet to make it less boring, more interesting! 'cause it's really gonna be a LONG post. I'm not even halfway done for the post, and it consist of lots of words, and facts, and words. Lol, probably gonna be the longest post throughout my blog entries history. So, LONG STORY SHORT, I'll try to get the post done as soon as possible alrights! =D

Btw, if you have PPS on your iPhone, PLEASE PLEASE go download One day. It's a movie starring Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess! Gosh I love Anne Hathway! I've been watching her movies since young. She's so fucking gorgeous in any way! Even when she dressed up as a nerd, she is still a pretty nerd.
It's a love story between two best friends since 1989, and they finally got together during 2008(I think, forgot) but Anne Hathaway died during 2009! During a car crash. Ok, I cried here too. I realized I cry a lot when it comes to sad movies/dramas zzzzz
Anyway, just watch it k! it's really a good watch! You can trust my taste in movies and dramas ok! I've got good taste in it. /shameless to the maximus.

That is the poster of the movie! =D So romantic right? And the movie is just that romantic. ;)

Oh, and I watched Puss in Boots! Like finally. Been wanting to watch puss in boots since like forever, but nobody accompany me! Sad right? But never mind, thank God I didn't watch it in cinema. 'cause I think it's kind of boring? Really didn't like it :/ the only part i like is when puss shows it's watery eyes! Mad cute! =D

Mad cute right? Lolol.

I personally thinks that Gnomeo and Juliet is way way WAY better than puss in boots. The story line is way more interesting, and the characters inside are funnier! I just finished this though. Like two hours ago? It's really a cute 3D cartoon! =D




Ok, I gotta go! Please stay tune for my 步步惊心 post k! Buhhbyeeeeee /waves

Just wanna share an article that I recently read on Arise India Forum.


“For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives. 

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them. 

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five: 


1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. 

This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. 

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.


2. I wish I didn’t work so hard. 

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence. 

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle. 


3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result. 

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win. 


4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. 

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying. 

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships. 


5. I wish that I had let myself be happier. 

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. 


Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness."


source : Arise India Forum




Life is unpredictable. You never know what's gonna happen next. At least one human on earth died today, and another is born. Today is the youngest you can get, thus, enjoy your youth while you still can. 'cause when we jump out from this youth/student life, we'll be entering the real world, which consist of work, work, and only work to survive among the crowd. As written in the article above,  live the life you want, not the life other people wants you to live. Similarly, if you chose the right job, as in to your interest, you won't bother working too hard for it, as it's an enjoyment for you, its your passion. You're doing it willingly without any stress. Chose the right path and live it with no regrets. Express whatever you feel inside, 'cause no one knows what you're thinking, as they're not Professor Xavier, they can't read your mind. If you like somebody, just tell them. Who knows they likes you too? :} if you live your life with regrets, how tf are you gonna be happy? if you live your life with frowns and regrets, it'll be dull and.....boring, and sad. 'cause when you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying. Appreciate for what you have now, and don't let greed control your life. Be content with what you have, 'cause you'll never get enough if you don't . :} 

步步惊心

Ohaaaiiii! Just a short update that I just finished 步步惊心 which is know as scarlet heart in English. It's a china drama based during Qing's dynasty ruled by Kangxi emperor and Yongzheng emperor. Really a good watch! Though the ending's sad. I cried starting from episode 33! Damn sad cz the lead actress inside (RouXi) and the lead actor (4th prince, which is also Yongzheng emperor by then) couldn't be together due to misunderstandings and circumstances. 两个真心相爱的人却不能在一起！So sad right?!

Oh, 4th prince's role is played by Nicky Wu, 吴奇隆. I can't believe that he's 42 years old this year! Same as my mom can!! Simisai! He looks like he's around 30!! Dafuq. Despite his hotness for a forty two year old guy, his acting skills are really good!

I shall summarized everything again in another post as I gotta rush to somewhere naoz!

Stay tune!


Update!!! :D
Just because of this drama, I google searched and read the history of Qing dynasty! MG. I wanna watch all the Qing dynasty related drama during my term break. Interest in china history gained. I think Malaysia should make a drama about it's history too to gain interest among students so no one gonna fail history, the blardy subject. Lolol :D

just another tuesday

Valentine's, just another Tuesday.
Saw it all over FaceBook, Twitter and 9GAG. I think it's only self-comfort for those that doesn't have anyone to celebrate with. 'cause....vday is special. Actually I got no idea how special vday is, as I got zero experience in celebrating vday =( Kinda sad, but true. 19 (No la, actually 18 years only) years of my life, never have I celebrated vday with that someone special. When it comes to receiving gifts....i forgot how many i've received, but definitely can be counted by using 1 palm of mine. Lulz.

Anyway, accompanied Eveline to get vday present for her bf just now. Actually it's me wanting to go great wall city to change clothes at mark and spencer but ended up no stock so gotta go other outlet =_= anyway, another sinful dinner tonight. (Picture above) While Eveline had some minced pork noodles. Intended to walk home again from great wall city, but failed 'cause i lead the wrong way to tiong bahru's mrt so end up using bus back home. So picture below me is enjoying my meal. /sadface. too sinful. Gotta go jogging tmr morning to burn off some calories.

Saw lots of lots bouquet of roses at great wall city just now! There's pink, yellow, purple, blue, white and the usual colour, red! Saw this huge bouquet of roses with pink and red roses in it with some other kind of flower and I really rove it!! lol! Wanted to take a picture of it but people keep blocking me! =( WHAI. Ok la anyway, seeing people receiving bouquet of flowers but I no haz make me sadz. =( but it's okay. I shall just wait. Wait til that day come. /daydream /foreveralone

 Fran and I at Changi Airport wasting our time away! Don't know why my hair's kinda wavy inside. :/
Hmmm, so yeah. Gotta bath now then skype with friend =D to all the lovey dovey couples out there, happy vday =) to all the single men and ladies, s'okay! God is still busy writing your love story that's why you're still single. Lulz. Good bye! =)